Give Me My Space Bro!

I enjoy watching Seinfeld. It was a creative show that made you laugh about the simple every day habits of 4 Americans living in New York. If you are familiar with the show, you know that Jerry (the main character) always found something wrong with his dates/girlfriends. One girl had "man hands". One girl was a "low talker". One girl kept using silly nicknames like "Shmoopy".

Well, in one particular episode that I remember, Jerry met a friend
that became known as the "close talker". You know what I mean - the individual that has absolutely no stinking clue how CLOSE they are when they are talking to you. You get very uncomfortable and back away, and they just move in. It is very uncomfortable when you encounter a "close talker" of the opposite gender, as was the case with me this past Sunday.

The whole time this woman is talking to me, I literally am thinking, "Is she going to kiss me!? Holy COW! BACK OFF!!" But of course, I just smile and do the polite thing - end the conversation as quickly as possible. It seems I have been having trouble lately with the whole personal space issue. During the last Texas Rangers game that we attended, a very LARGE man sat down next to me. Now please hear me out. I have nothing against large people - I myself am not Matthew McConaughey (I know that will come as a shock!). However, this individual did not care that his shoulder, elbow, and forearm were all sitting in my rib cage while he was eating his 2 foot hot dog loaded with cheese, chili, relish, and onions. No "excuse me", or "pardon me" - Just giant elbow to the face!

Of course I gave the customary "Hello" with a forced smile.
Then, made a huge deal out of the fact that I literally was leaning over the other side of my chair (see picture to the right). That didn't work. Finally, I did what anyone would do in that sitaution... I made my nine year old daughter switch seats with me! (Had to buy her a $5.00 Lemon chill for that one!).

What is it with certain people. Do they not know the rule about standing 5 feet behind you when you are at the ATM machine? Do they not understand that it is not nice to go to an amusement park without bathing, sweat like a mule, ride the water ride, then rub up against you while you are waiting to ride the swings? Why can't people realize they are almost touching your nose with their nose when they are talking to you in a noraml conversation? My thought: we change the culture. To me, there is only one man who can do it.....

Barack Obama! Might as well, everyone else thinks he walks on water. Surely he can fix this problem too!