Give Me My Space Bro!

I enjoy watching Seinfeld. It was a creative show that made you laugh about the simple every day habits of 4 Americans living in New York. If you are familiar with the show, you know that Jerry (the main character) always found something wrong with his dates/girlfriends. One girl had "man hands". One girl was a "low talker". One girl kept using silly nicknames like "Shmoopy".

Well, in one particular episode that I remember, Jerry met a friend
that became known as the "close talker". You know what I mean - the individual that has absolutely no stinking clue how CLOSE they are when they are talking to you. You get very uncomfortable and back away, and they just move in. It is very uncomfortable when you encounter a "close talker" of the opposite gender, as was the case with me this past Sunday.

The whole time this woman is talking to me, I literally am thinking, "Is she going to kiss me!? Holy COW! BACK OFF!!" But of course, I just smile and do the polite thing - end the conversation as quickly as possible. It seems I have been having trouble lately with the whole personal space issue. During the last Texas Rangers game that we attended, a very LARGE man sat down next to me. Now please hear me out. I have nothing against large people - I myself am not Matthew McConaughey (I know that will come as a shock!). However, this individual did not care that his shoulder, elbow, and forearm were all sitting in my rib cage while he was eating his 2 foot hot dog loaded with cheese, chili, relish, and onions. No "excuse me", or "pardon me" - Just giant elbow to the face!

Of course I gave the customary "Hello" with a forced smile.
Then, made a huge deal out of the fact that I literally was leaning over the other side of my chair (see picture to the right). That didn't work. Finally, I did what anyone would do in that sitaution... I made my nine year old daughter switch seats with me! (Had to buy her a $5.00 Lemon chill for that one!).

What is it with certain people. Do they not know the rule about standing 5 feet behind you when you are at the ATM machine? Do they not understand that it is not nice to go to an amusement park without bathing, sweat like a mule, ride the water ride, then rub up against you while you are waiting to ride the swings? Why can't people realize they are almost touching your nose with their nose when they are talking to you in a noraml conversation? My thought: we change the culture. To me, there is only one man who can do it.....

Barack Obama! Might as well, everyone else thinks he walks on water. Surely he can fix this problem too!

Why didn't I think of that?!

Have you ever seen something and thought, "Why didn't I think of that?!" It could be something small or unique, but usually not too difficult. It can be something life changing and pretty cool, but it could also be something stupid. For example, here is my list of things I wish I had thought of.....

1. Facebook - unreal. I have been on it now for 4 days and have talked to more people from my past than ever before. It's like a constant online reunion. It can be addictive though....
2. Thumb drives - simple yet so functional
3. TIVO/DVR - I honestly don't know what my life was like before it. You know we live in a tech world when my kids look at me and say, "TIVO it daddy!" I can remember as a kid getting excited when my dad bought this thing called a VCR!
4. The car clicker thingy bob - I never lock my car doors the normal way anymore - I always click and listen for the horn to confirm that it is locked.
5. Webkinz - somewhere in the world there is some dude making millions all because he thought, "Why don't I sell a bunch of small stuffed animals and let kids create lives for them on the internet!" Unreal.... My kids have 10 of these things. I think the Beardens have like 47!
6. Starbucks - I guarantee you somebody somewhere once said, "It will never work. People won't go to a place that sells only coffee and pay $4.00 a cup for it....forget it!"
7. Cordless home phones - does anyone have a phone in your home with a cord attached to it that is NOT in your kitchen?
8. The little cat doors that go into your garage or utility room. I wish we had one. I am tired of my cat whining to go into the garage!!
9. Fanny packs - make fun of them all you want, but they are very efficient when you are in a foreign country. I have yet to lose my wallet or passport!
10. Glow light necklaces - they sell them at amusement parks and 4th of July firework shows. I bet they cost 5 cents to make, yet they sell them for $5.00. Again, someone somewhere is laughing their head off all the way to the bank.

What's on your list? Post a comment and let me know....maybe we can collect a bunch of them, write a book on it and make millions - wait! Someone already did that....

The Little House of Sin

Last week my sister-in-law and her husband (and their three beautiful children) were in town visiting with us for the weekend. We had an absolute great time with them. Even though my wife's brother-in-law is a HUGE Alabama Crimson Tide fan, we had a truly fun weekend. By the way Brian, we are praying for your salvation every day. God bless you brother! And, by they way, those 12 National Championships that you all claim to have won - you can't count the Rotary Club Shriner's Ball National Championship from 1927.

One of the fun things that we did together last weekend was to stop by a little snow cone place in Euless called the The Little House of Snow. It is a wonderful little establishment that makes GREAT Snow Cones. If you live in Euless, check it out. Located at the corner of Euless Main Street and Midway in a small little strip mall directly across from the Diamond Shamrock gas station. They literally have over 50 different flavors that you can make as a snow cone and they give you a huge portion for a very small price. Great way to beat the Texas heat!

Anyway, on Tuesday I was going through my receipts and checking them with my bank account (you know, the fun stuff of balancing the checking account) when I noticed on my receipt it read "The Little House of Sn". At first glance, it looked like it said "The Little House of Sin". I laughed but then I thought, WOW - what if someone got that receipt out of my wallet - it wouldn't look good. Of course, the charge on the receipt was $7.12 - not sure what you would be able to get for that in other establishments that might go by that name.

I took the receipt to my wife and we both laughed and got a good kick out of it. The moral of the story is this: If you want a good snow cone, don't go to the Little House of SIN - make sure it says SNOW on the exterior sign.

Walk off Grand Slam Home Run!

One of the most enjoyable experiences of my life just ended this past Friday night. The City of Euless 8 and under Coach Pitch Red Sox played their last game of the 2008 season. Me and my friend Robert Elkins (our worship pastor here at First Euless) decided to coach our sons this year in baseball. His son, Jack, and my son, Brody, are truly best friends. (that is Jack in the picture with Brody)
This is my first time coaching little league baseball. I have coached high school boys & girls, middle school boys & girls, and college in basketball, baseball, and softball. Each team has been an enjoyable experience over the years, but these little guys will always hold a special place in my heart. We were not the best team in the league, but we were not the worst. The thing I am most proud of these boys is how they improved. I was always taught that if you work hard, listen to your coaches, and do your best, you will improve. I got to see that first hand this spring.

When our season began, we didn't know where to throw the ball let alone attempt to catch it. Just about all of our boys struggled hitting the ball at the plate (many come up from T-ball and have a hard time with the ball being thrown at them - even by a coach). We finished the season 3-7, but our last game was the most exciting.
We only had 8 players because one of our boys contracting mono (get well Ryan!), and two of our other boys had previous events with their families. That meant every time the 9th batter's position came up - it was an automatic out. Our boys played a great game. It all came down to the bottom half of the last inning. We were behind by one run, and we had the bases loaded. Our number 5 hitter (Chase Apple - great name!) hit a line-drive shot down the left field line that one-hopped to the fence (baseball-speak). The bases cleared and I sent the batter home (not where he lives but to the plate)for a close play. SAFE! - as he slid under the tag. Ballgame! - called the umpire. Jubilation erupted and our boys were jumping around like they all were just given brand new XBOX 360's.....

The whole reason I decided to coach this team was to be with Brody.
That was a great joy for me to watch him play and be a major part of his experience. Not only am I extremely proud of him, but I feel in some small way as if I gained 10 other sons for about 2 months. Great job Red Sox! See you next Spring...

Assimilation Metro 2008

Proof that I am not the only Assimilation Minister in the country - I am currently in Marco Island, Florida, attending the 2008 Assimilation Ministers Metro Conference. It is a great time to visit with other ministers around the country to see what is working in their churches, trends, success reports, and good old fashioned fellowship. I will be here until Thursday - then flying back to DFW. Assimilation is a new word around Southern Baptist Churches. About 7 years ago churches realized they were attracting a lot of new people but their "back doors" were huge. In other words, they were not successfully connecting the new people to the body. So, the position of Assimilation Minister is ushered in (ha... inside joke!) and plans are put in place to help new people get truly connected to churches. In some churches, these positions are referred to as Membership Pastors or Development Pastors... It really is all the same. The exciting thing is that these positions are fairly new and are evolving. Who knows what this position will become over the next two to three years. The realization has been that it is going to continue to be a vital part of church growth and individual discipleship within church life.

One sad note to bring. One of my counterparts here at the conference had to fly home early to her church. Their pastor was killed in a plane crash early Monday morning. Please pray for Bell Shoals Baptist Church in Brandon, Florida and for the family of Dr. Forrest Pollack, pastor of that great church. Have a blessed week everyone....I will post again once we are back in DFW.

A World of Trouble

Recently, I as watching the evening news. I don't do that much anymore because I can't stomach the liberal tint the media portrays on everything and the constant "Bush-bashing" that takes place. (Side bar: I don't think George W. Bush is perfect nor has he handled everything well, but he is still our PRESIDENT and we should respect him and the office). Stories came across the television that had me sitting and wondering - what is going on with our country? For example:

1.) Take this article from USA Today: "Presbyterian Minister cleared in Gay Marriage Case." Well Praise the Lord! I am thankful for that (hint of sarcasm)... Click on the article above and read it. The main thing I can't understand is that the Presbyterian Church keeps talking about their "constitution" and how they should follow it - hey guys, how about following - oh, I don't know - the WORD OF GOD? It's amazing to see what all God has to say on this subject when you actually read his word.

2.) Miley Cyrus - aka Hannah Montana. Well, unless you have been under a cave, you are aware of the "buzz" she has created with her Vanity Fair pictorial. Through it all, the funniest thing to me is the reaction of Disney - the company that owns her Hannah Montana character.
Disney is all upset over the "raciness" of the pictures (I don't like them either, by the way), but isn't that a little hypocritical on their part? I mean, they will have Gay pride day in their parks but get upset with Cyrus' pictures exposing her back? What it tells you is that they are concerned with one thing - the almighty dollar. They know that the majority of Cyrus' fan base is in the conservative south and they will be upset with this pictorial which could result in loss of sales of the Hannah Montana product.

3.) Professional Athletes getting second and third chances. Do you think for one second that you and I could do half of what Pacman Jones has done and still get a chance to come back to work for MILLIONS of dollars?
Once again, it is about money. Jerry Jones, the owner of the Cowboys, knows he has a big huge stadium that will be completed in 2009. He needs to create a buzz among the fan base in order to sell very expensive tickets to this very expensive stadium. The best way to sell tickets, merchandise, and concessions, is to put a winning product on the field. Bring in Pacman Jones (a very good NFL cornerback) and it increases your chances of winning big. Who cares if he is an habitual criminal? Who cares if he shows no real remorse for his actions? He runs a 4.4 40 yard dash and leads the NFL in interceptions - sign him up! Pay him millions!

In all of this, what do you think we are teaching the younger generations? It's simple. We are teaching them selfishness - and that my friends can lead to a world of trouble....

Get the Church a cup of Coffee

For some reason two months ago, we started getting issues of the Rolling Stone magazine. Evidently, after further investigation, we are getting these issues complimentary for awhile due to our joining Rhapsody.com. After one issue, I realized that this magazine is a liberal, anti-Christian, awful rag. The first few issues that were delivered went directly from my mail box to the trash can. But recently, it hit me... this is our "pop culture". This is where our young people live. This magazine is a representation of what our college and high school students are listening, reading, watching, and discussing. Who am I kidding - this magazine is a representation of our 30's and 40's.

One of the latest "hot topics" among Southern Baptist Churches is centered around the constant tug of war in regards to the "style" of church. It's often referred to as "traditional vs. contemporary" or "the worship wars". While it may be taking place in different forms, rest assured, every church is dealing with it in some degree. The whole issue centers around effective ministry. In other words, are we (the church of the 21st century) effective in how we are reaching lost people with the gospel. After all, is that not our main focus? The salvation of the lost? It should be. Jesus commanded it to be our main focus. Jesus didn't sit back in a building and wait for people to come to him.

Our pastor, John Meador, is going to be preaching a series starting May 11 entitled "Generation X, Y, Z'. The series will be based out of Deuteronomy and will deal with how our past generations can effectively reach and teach our new generations Biblical principles of salvation, following Scripture, living for Christ, and how we can effectively (there's that word again) establish these important principles for future generations - my kids and grand kids. It will be a great series that will look at how Scripture is cross-generational and how we as parents and community leaders have the responsibility to take Biblical truth and teach it in a relevant style.

One of the failures of Christians in the past 20 years is that we have not changed our practices with the changing culture. Now hear me loud and clear: I am not saying that we should have changed our principles and convictions. Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven. He was born of a virgin, lived a perfect life, was fully God and fully man, died on a cross for our sins, rose again three days afterwards, and ascended to heaven where he now sits at the right hand of God the father. I also believe that Scripture is "God-breathed", without error, and that every word is true. This is the foundational truths or our beliefs and they should NEVER waiver. Pastor Mark Driscoll in Seattle calls them the "cornerstones of our faith".

But, we (the church of Jesus Christ as a whole) have lost touch with society. Disagree with me? Look around... why are churches all over this country who ran thousands in the 70s and 80s now glorious empty cathedrals?
A recent article that I read in Church Solutions magazine reports that baptisms are down for the 3rd consecutive year across the board among protestant religions. Read magazines like Rolling Stone and an article in their latest edition about a reporter who went undercover at a "mega-church" in San Antonio to learn more about Christianity. This poor guy got it all wrong in his article, and the majority of the reason is the ridiculous nature in which that church preached, worshiped, acted, and misrepresented Scripture. Now the reporter was wrong to lump in all Christians into this one category, but the point still remains - we are not "getting it".

We have the greatest news in the world! You need hope? We have the answer. You need to break free from the bondage of addiction? We have the answer. You need help in your marriage? We have the answer. You need to find someone who will love you no matter what you have done? We have the answer. You need to find help in dealing and connecting with your kids? We have the answer. NO other religion can offer what Jesus Christ gives freely to those who seek it.
So why is it that we as the body of Christ - the church - spend the majority of our time bickering like spoiled little children about the volume of the music in our worship service, whether we get to sit in our predetermined church pew, our self-assigned parking space, whether the pastor should wear a suit or jeans on Sunday, the music leader's hair style, or whether or not our Sunday School/Bible Fellowship/Small Group/Connection Class/Care Group/or whatever you want to call it has brown painted walls or red painted walls??? Do you think Jesus is pleased or really cares about that garbage? Do you think when He was dying on the cross He was worried about whether the decibel level was going to be too loud in the worship service?

People all over the world are drinking in the false religions of Islam, Mormonism, and Oprah-ism and the one group of people that have the greatest news is too worried about their own petty and selfish desires rather than those outside the walls of the church who are literally dying without Christ. Congregations all over the country are spending too much time and effort crying about ridiculous things. They wonder why our churches are not growing in numbers and then blame the pastor and staff when the baptism waters are not stirring. Maybe the church should drink some Biblical coffee, wake up, and get back to being obedient to Christ's command to "GO make disciples"....

The good news is that there are churches who have "gotten it". They understand that we need to stay focused on reaching the lost. They understand that bickering over small things that have no importance, is merely a way that allows Satan into the door of the church. These are great churches and typically are the fastest growing congregations.

My high school coach was (and is) a pretty smart dude.
He once told me, "Bradley, if you want to be a good coach, then find the people who are winning and learn from them. Read about Dean Smith, Vince Lombardi, Joe Paterno, and John Wooden." That was good advice. I think it holds true in most circumstances. Maybe we should be listening to those places that are baptizing thousands instead of ridiculing them for their loud music, jean wearing, weird hair pastors and worship leaders. I don't know about you - but fire up that coffee pot and let's get to work!